Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i think i just lost a toe
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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