yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize