btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
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I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
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Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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