Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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