My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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