are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
