I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
