where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
