i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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