just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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