I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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