did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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