I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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