i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
sex in a hospital.. check
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
