My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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