My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
