Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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