your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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