When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize