Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
