Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
