Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
