Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
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Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
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Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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