YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
