i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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