Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize