I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been