I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.