You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
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Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
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My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.