Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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