I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.