you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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