Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
