Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
