I will die if light touches me.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I need to sanitize my soul.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
