i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I think I sprained my soul last night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Your penis caused this!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
