It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
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and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
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I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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