She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
