a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
