The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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