If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
