it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
