Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
