Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
