Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
