oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My vagina is officially offended.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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