umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
