Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
