Is it because I queefed?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
