Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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