Just took my morning after pill in the library
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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