sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
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i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
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I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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