worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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