so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
