A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
