Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
