life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize