what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
