I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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