You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
