I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
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we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
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Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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