well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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