Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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