Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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