I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
