Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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