there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
How's work?
Spinning.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
