i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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