Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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