I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
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Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
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I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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