i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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