google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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