worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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